N and I have been juggling with our roles over who was staying at home since we both went back to work. Enter now the stay at home dad. I was very lucky for the first few months we were both home. In the early blurry days when we come home from hospital it was the constant 24 hour monotonous four hourly feeding, changing and sleeping. We had routine where N would stay up late for the night feeds and I would be up at 2am for the morning feed. It was hard but we worked well together when we did not have to factor in anything else. Then the girls started sleeping through the night and then he went back to work. When the girls were four months I had to go back to work too. Since then it has been a juggle where the current weekly routine on the fridge reads
- Monday– N;
- Tuesday– daycare;
- Wednesday – babysitter;
- Thursday – Grammie;
- Friday – me.
Whew. A different carer everyday but its working ok. I enjoy my day with the girls and N and my mother enjoy theirs.
But now we are trying to reframe it as an opportunity. We can now save money by taking the girls out of day care. Work is flexible so I can come home around 3:30pm some days and do any extra work at night from home. So we have done the budget and there are some changes to be made. We probably will have to move somewhere cheaper but that is the trade off to have a parent at home. It might be temporary indefinite but some changes are going to be made. At the moment this is right for our family.
Are there any other stay at home dads out there? What tips can you offer to men thinking about tacking this role?
I know it’s a big change but having their father home will be a wonderful experience. My husband worked full-time and was gone, a lot, and it was difficult. He recently started working from home and I am working for him..don’t ask. The greatest thing is the time he spends with the kids. I notice a wonderful change in their relationship with him. Personally, I think being a stay at home Dad is great. Good luck with the changes, I am sure it will be great.
Hello! Saw you on MBC…wanted to say hi! Oh I know it’s so tough to figure out the care giver role and daycare etc. I can’t imagine with twins what it’s like! I hope things settle down for you both. Sounds like you’re doing the best you can right now!!!
~Kimberly
Stopping by from the #31dbbb!
My hubby isn’t a SAHD but I have a friend who is. I think finding other SAHDs in the area is a big help. I know he’s met other dads at playgrounds and such.
I hear ya on the schedule– I went part time from home after I had #2 and it’s been tricky since both kids are home with me two days a week and then the other days one goes one place and one the other. Madness but you do what you gotta do!
Thanks for all your comments and tips! I will sure to keep blogging about how we go. Lisa
Oh boy. If he pulls this off, he deserves not just a metal but an entire week dedicated to him! Good luck! It will be VERY hard. But there’s not a more important job in the world to do. My hats off to you!
Hi from Oh Baby! (on Blogfrog!) It’s great to meet you Lisa. I think it’s wonderful that you and your husband have taken a look at your family circumstances and worked out a scenario that works for you guys. Before we had our son, my husband and I used to joke “fight” about who would get to stay home with him. I always told him I won because I have the boobs.
So many men are unwilling to even consider it an option, so good on him for not being too “proud” to go this route. Who knows, your situation may change in the future, so it’s great that you guys are working out how to enjoy it and make the most of it right now. Looking forward to seeing more of your blog too… Have a great day Lisa!