N and I have been juggling with our roles over who was staying at home since we both went back to work. Enter now the stay at home dad. I was very lucky for the first few months we were both home. In the early blurry days when we come home from hospital it was the constant 24 hour monotonous four hourly feeding, changing and sleeping. We had routine where N would stay up late for the night feeds and I would be up at 2am for the morning feed. It was hard but we worked well together when we did not have to factor in anything else. Then the girls started sleeping through the night and then he went back to work. When the girls were four months I had to go back to work too. Since then it has been a juggle where the current weekly routine on the fridge reads
- Monday– N;
- Tuesday– daycare;
- Wednesday – babysitter;
- Thursday – Grammie;
- Friday – me.
Whew. A different carer everyday but its working ok. I enjoy my day with the girls and N and my mother enjoy theirs.
But now we are trying to reframe it as an opportunity. We can now save money by taking the girls out of day care. Work is flexible so I can come home around 3:30pm some days and do any extra work at night from home. So we have done the budget and there are some changes to be made. We probably will have to move somewhere cheaper but that is the trade off to have a parent at home. It might be temporary indefinite but some changes are going to be made. At the moment this is right for our family.
Are there any other stay at home dads out there? What tips can you offer to men thinking about tacking this role?