Yesterday I watched that Sarah Jessica Parker movie, I Don’t know How She Does it. I know in my last post I was a little frustrated with the tag line but it has been a few weeks and time does start to heal wounds and well today I decided that yes, I can do it. Today is Halloween and with the daycare notices notifying it was “Pirates and Fairies” day, I decided that my little girls were not to miss out. So I trawled the local craft market yesterday to find my Gold Coast retro creation filled with tie-dye, lace and glitter. Another stall made $5 wands and I dug up head bands that matched. Ta-Da 

This morning as I awoke and reached for my phone for the time it read 7:58AM. 7:58AM!!! Never in the past two years have I been able to sleep past 6:30am and I am supposed to on the freeway on the commute to work by now. But just a hint of my mornings with the added pressure of lateness and getting out the door here I go:

• Bowl of cereal for the girls. Not that healthy but at least they eat it.
• Race to my bedroom to throw on a skirt and not so matching top.
• Necklace and a ring – forget the ear-rings today.
• Cheap foundation (can really tell the difference from the nice stuff) and spitting on my fingers to rub in the jaw line. Slap on some lipstick and too bright pink eye-shadow.
• Moana has been coughing and sick. Decision made to go ahead with daycare taking risk that may be called later today to take her home. Give panodol and a kiss.
• Daycare bag packed yesterday. Bonus.
• Work bag pulled together. Lunch a $2.50 Lean Cuisine that was on sale.
• Try to dress girls as they run away and pull off shoes.
• Write letter to babysitter with list for dinner.
• Pick up one child and one bag – out in car
• Return to house, pick up second child, second bag and huge bag of garbage as trying to turn off lights, and lock doors and carry it all out to car.
• Drive to daycare.
• Take one child in, sign in.
• Rush back to car, collect second child. Speak to carer. Take Photo. Click.
• Speak to Director who confirms girls have been accepted in for a third day next year.
• Back to car. Turn on Blackberry. Lights flash. 20 messages and 2 missed calls. Crap.
• Notice ladder in stocking.
• Notice pale white stain on skirt – toothpaste?
• Notice hair a mess and need new shoes.
• Blackberry beeps – first meeting 9:30am.

Oh well. It is now 7:54pm. The house is Silent.

Lisa xox

Since moving to the coast I find myself commuting back to Brisbane 4 times a week. Now the girls are in daycare closer to home the commute is just me. It is hard to keep your spirits up when the scenery is a concrete jungle and you are following the backs of cars as they all weave, stop and holler for position on the motorway. It is just four simple motorways to work; down the M1, left exit on the Logan, Toll 1 and then Toll 2, don’t miss the exit to M5 before exiting onto Moggill. But it can take anywhere between

On the road in New Zealand

1.15 hours to 2 hours a trip. The time is draining as I flick through the noise on the radio. Sometimes it is better to turn the radio off and listen to my own thoughts on the day and week a head.

I am tired.

I confess sometimes it is hard to stay awake on the motorway. It does not matter if it is 7:30am or 6pm at night. It is tiresome.

There are constant accidents on the roads. Ambulances sneak up behind you and a while later scream down the opposite direction. Last week I was five minutes “late” to a motorcycle accident. Cars only starting build up as frantic emergency phone calls were made. Poor bloke curled up on the road. I think he was OK.

On any other day I don’t mind a road trip. Memorable trips have been to the South Island in New Zealand and around Ireland. With not a care in the world and your luggage in the boot. The scenery constantly changing. I am happy to be a passenger.

Until then I am under the spell and trying not to sleep on Highway One.

All mums are amazing whether you have had one or ten children (actually more than ten children these days sounds a little neglectful but that is for another blog post) but it is the multiple mums I love to hear from the most. At the moment we are all waiting to hear of the pending birth (false labour starts on the news everyday) of Princess Mary’s twin girls. As an Australian, Princess Mary’s life reads like a fairy tale. I am sure if I really knew her I woud understand her daily life is probably much more challenging than the tabloid reports but I can dream. Meeting her Prince at a pub in Sydney during the Olympics and then a world wind romance, wedding, castles and two babies… So I was delighted to hear the next pregnancy was spontaneous twins. Will she cope with four children under five? So far she looks radiant and healthy and now I can not wait to the magazines of when she comes home with twin girls.

Courtesy of Google.

The other famous mum I confess I love to read about is Angelina Jolie. Besides the fact like Mary she is drop dead gorgeous (do they really look like that ALL the time?) I really do wonder how both these women do it all. We have all heard of Angelina’s huge international brood and I would love to know how she does have the time to spend quality time with all six of her children while she makes movies, travels the work and does all her charity commitments. Maybe I am naive and really both Mary and Angelina have a number of nannies to do the “real” work. Real work as in lack of sleep while attending to babies all night long while wearing a perfectly unsexy nightie or bed time routines of cooking dinner (maybe Brad is the cook), feeding dinner to babies, dinner on floor and all over babies, cleaning floor, bathing babies, and lastly settling babies. For some reason I can not imagine either Mary or Angelina on their hands and knees picking up food scraps thrown from the high chair or negotiating with babies about how much TV they should be watching. But perhaps they do. That is one magazine article and photos I would read.

Courtesy of Google

Last of all the other mums is Australian Westpac CEO Gail Kelly. Ranked the 8th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes in 2010, Gail has four children including Triplet girls. Starting as a teacher and bank teller, this Triplet mum is now the highest paid woman in an Australian corporation. Wow. I love hearing her story because she continued to build a successful career after having Triplets. No, when she had her family she was not famous and no multiples are not the end of the world. Your life does not just stop. If I decided to keep climbing that corporate ladder, I’d like to think of Gail and remind myself that It is OK to pause your career for a few years as there is plenty of time to climb that corporate ladder (if you want too).

Gail Kelly. Photo Courtesy of ABC.

Mrs Kelly says having children taught her the importance of balancing work with other parts of life.

“I really am a huge believer in work-life balance,” she said.

“Practices of flexibility, practices of encouraging people to live whole lives, those are principles for me that I’ve lived and believed in all my life and certainly been the recipient of myself.

“I have four children, three of whom are triplets, and in my life I’ve needed employers who were prepared to back me and provide some flexibility to me during different stages in my career. Reference: Market gives thumbs up to Westpac CEO appointment

Just because you have decided to be a mum, if you want to have a career, you can still do it. Multiples and all.

Ok I may not have a set of rules for Business Networking per say  but this is my number one if you are young embarking on your career, please do not be overly impressed by the people who seem to be popular because they know everyone. Once upon a time when I was young and naïve (ok I think I was 24 years old) I met this lady who was a networking queen. I was bedazzled with her success, wealth, and worldly knowledge especially since she was only a few years my senior and appeared to have similar high school and academic background. At the time I stupidly followed her around, listened to every word of advice, savoured every business card as I held her up with such high regard and I was so grateful to be her “friend.” I accompanied (followed) her to fancy restaurants and café business meetings and I mistakenly started to think I was a little too big for my boots too.

However there were signs.

After months of stringing me along with job promises (as she went on her Europe holiday) she offered me a position working for her in recruitment.  I quit my biotechnology job to work for her because I thought by working with her direction, I too, would be successful and popular in the corporate lifestyle. The day I started, I was notified she had resigned. I had been duped as a replacement body while she accepted a new corporate position in one of the top 5 accounting firms in another building. To say the least I should have learnt my lesson but no.

I only lasted three months in the recruitment business on my own. I hated it. It was Christmas and I could not close a deal or generate new business. I did not fit into the culture and hence was let go. Not bitter, I was still attending all these networking events, keeping in contact with my “friend,” chasing her for coffee meetings as she regaled stories of her work and travels in France. However every meeting was a mini networking event down to dinners where she would control who would sit where so networking would occur. She also thought herself as a match maker inviting corporate men and women from different companies who might share similar background to her personal events. She meticulous wrote in diaries anecdotally codes for different names of people of every conversation she had (I found some books at the recruitment firm she left behind).

Lastly I came to realise the kind of person she was, was when all use for my contacts had expired.  In passing she had invited me to one of her soirées (who has bloody soirées  for god sake)  at her inner city apartment for the River Festival. When I called to confirm, she pretended it was no longer on. I was too polite to question it. A week later I attended a profession networking event and as I tried to join the laughing group, they all congratulated and regaled sories with my “friend” for a wonderful party enjoyed by all. I stepped back. I had been duped again. Embarrassed. I left. Fortunately I no longer see this person as she soon left the country for a job transfer to Europe. Good riddance I say but I learnt a good lesson, “Don’t be bedazzled by the Business Networking Tarts.”

I know the importance of business networking. Almost all the jobs I have had has been through my contacts rather than the traditional cold seek and resume applications. That does not mean I enjoy networking events. For the past ten years I have attended a whole suite of them;  AusBiotech, Women in Technology, Queensland State Government small business and technology incubation, etc, etc. But it has been over a year since I dropped out of the networking circuit and after seeing the presentation was my previous employer, I booked in for the Ausbiotech breakfast. Ignoring the fact that a breakfast event is a logistical nightmare (involved staying over my parents the night before, organising babysitters and then late for daycare and work), I really wanted to make the effort to cliché “keep my career alive.”

I wore my best dress. I collected my name badge. Entered the room. Surveyed the groups of suits and high heels. I no longer wear heels. Walked purposefully to the coffee. Poured my cup. Pretended to look busy. I hate these things. Thankfully found the speaker I was here to see to speak to her. Saved. I recognise at least a dozen regulars from my years of networking. However the approach to a group of people sipping tea and entering a conversation is not always a challenge but I get so pissed off when I think I have made the effort (especially when it is someone I have met many times before) but they just look you up and down, make small talk while scanning the room for someone more important to talk too.

Business Networking Challenge

Which brings me to a story of someone I met and was burnt by networking just when I was embarking on my career. To be continued…

Many years ago every employee at my workplace arrived to work with the book “Work Smarter not harder” sitting on our desk. I confess it is not my favorite professional development book but I do need tips to stop procrastination and better time management so there is one takeaway example in the book is to re-prioritize the to do list.  It is to do the things you least like doing first. For instance today’s work to do list includes (in no order):

• Review Non Disclosure Agreement from Company A
• Review Non disclosure Agreement from Company B
• Read Invention Disclosure Form, Contact Corporate Intellectual Property Management and notify them of new invention, Contact Patent Attorney and schedule meeting
• Read and provide feedback for Technology License Agreement with Company C
• Read and provide feedback for Technology License Agreement with Company D
• Look at blog statistics
• Check Hotmail
• Check Facebook
• Login to bank account to check if got paid.
• Imagine extra $zero in cash account
• Schedule next months bills
• Login to share account and visualize shares doubling in price.
• Quick market scan of share market
• Log onto Twitter – scan conversations,
• Reply to a tweet.
• Write blog post
• Read and respond to lisad emails
• Lunch
• Compare prices on dishwater and oven
• Make a coffee
• Visit babies in daycare
• Go for lunch time walk with colleague
• Call N
• Compare prices and book internet and phone for new house
• Email friends to catch up over dinner

So which ones on the list I should tackle first should be the ones I am actually being paid for which is the first five! Instead it is so tempting to procrastinate and do the remainder first. So adieu and back to work! After I get that coffee…

Shock horror! Seriously if you ever wanted to start your own business join a party plan business just to get your feet wet. I have had friends become Tupperware Demonstrators, & Intimo Consultants and I have attended my fair share of jewellery, candle and linen parties.

Lessons Learnt being a Tupperware Demonstrator:

The benefits of joining these businesses are

• You already have a product (which hopefully you love so it is an easy sell).
• The administration is already organised.
• You learn new skills and Training is provided.
• Most have zero upfront starting fees.
• The marketing material is already provided.
• There is a support network and team with managers wanting you to do well.
• There is a rewards program (in addition to money there is usually free products, cars and trips overseas)
• You meet new people and make friends through customers and colleagues.
• It is a great second job if you work full time or are a mum. An extra $500 a week doing a party of two was fabulous.
• You work around your own commitments.

As my Tupperware Manager used to say, “It is your Business. You put in what you get out.”

With these benefits in mind I stayed with Tupperware for 3 years and I had a lot of fun. Of course there were the annoying customers and the dud parties where no one turned up.

I also had my fair share of trying moments:

• The night I went home after

  

  Brisbane Tupperware Sessions 2008

  driving all the way to the Gold Coast and got a speeding fine (there went my earnings),

• The time I forgot a major ingredient in the 5 Minute microwave chocolate cake after it starting cooking (major flop)
• The night my Tupperware Manager and I demonstrated for a party of two guests, signed them up and then they vanished from all contact and never picked up their orders,
• The day I arrived an hour late because I got the time mixed up,
• The massive fundraiser we organised with the Royal Brisbane Hospital to raise money for Breast Cancer – Cups4Cups. It was a high-tea with guest speakers and demonstrators. However all that effort and marketing barely made a profit after the expenses,
• The time I went to a party, after emailing and confirming the date and time only to arrive and no one was home,
• And lastly the Party I did when only two hours before I found out I was pregnant.

Now I have three cupboards overflowing with Tupperware and a converted partner who takes his green sandwich keepers to work everyday.

Last Friday a friend announced on facebook the launch of the Australian version of reality TV show, The Amazing Race. Applications are open for pairs of every day Aussies to work together competing against other teams in a race around the world. For fun, I downloaded the application forms and tested N to see if he would be interested. He is not so keen as who wants to have couples arguing on National TV (a lot of people apparently). Would we be a good couple to go on it? N is a good driver. Excellent driver so that is a bonus. Me; I am not too good with directions so I might let the co-pilot down.

One of the questions in the application form reads, “What is the weirdest thing about you?” I am stumped. What is weird, unusual, and odd about me? I can’t recall any unusual food or pastime cravings or fetishes. Maybe I am just un-interesting to go on TV. I do listen to Christmas carols all year round. Is that weird? Probably. But my arguement is if you ever feel a bit down just play a bit of Frosty the Snowman or Jingle Bell Rock and I am sure you will feel better. I suppose now I should announce my love of Christmas decorations. It started ten years ago when I worked in the Christmas department at Myers. When the internal job applications were opened to work as Santa’s Elf I jumped at the chance. At that time Christmas at Myers included the decorated Christmas cave, window and yearly themes. I attended Santa school where they trained all the Santa’s for the holidays. In Brisbane they had a city Christmas parade to launch the opening of the themed windows. Unfortunately I was not svelte enough for the ballerina costume and had to be content wearing the clown outfit handing out balloons.

Let’s just say Elf and Clown are no longer listed on my resume under Chlamydia expert.

Christmas 2009. Babies less than four weeks old. I promise never to dress them like this again.

Will keep you posted on our application.

N and I have been juggling with our roles over who was staying at home since we both went back to work. Enter now the stay at home dad. I was very lucky for the first few months we were both home. In the early blurry days when we come home from hospital it was the constant 24 hour monotonous four hourly feeding, changing and sleeping. We had routine where N would stay up late for the night feeds and I would be up at 2am for the morning feed. It was hard but we worked well together when we did not have to factor in anything else. Then the girls started sleeping through the night and then he went back to work. When the girls were four months I had to go back to work too.  Since then it has been a juggle where the current weekly routine on the fridge reads

• Monday– N;
• Tuesday– daycare;
• Wednesday – babysitter;
• Thursday – Grammie;
• Friday – me.

Whew. A different carer everyday but its working ok. I enjoy my day with the girls and N and my mother enjoy theirs.

But  now we are trying to reframe it as an opportunity. We can now save money by taking the girls out of day care. Work is flexible so I can come home around 3:30pm some days and do any extra work at night from home. So we have done the budget and there are some changes to be made. We probably will have to move somewhere cheaper but that is the trade off to have a parent at home. It might be temporary indefinite but some changes are going to be made. At the moment this is right for our family.

Are there any other stay at home dads out there? What tips can you offer to men thinking about tacking this role?