It would be lying if sometimes multiple mums had singleton baby envy. After posting this question on The Blogfrog and Multiple birth parents forums it was nice to know I am not the only one. The girls are  now 14 months and I love watching them learn new things everyday (both can now crawl!) but honestly the expense and logistical planning of day to day can be tiresome that I can’t help glance at my singleton baby friends or strangers in the park and sometimes wonder how easy it might have been. Double the expenses of formula, nappies, cots, clothes, high chairs, car seats, strollers, and daycare. The logistical nightmare of fussy eaters times too (identical babies have different tastes too), trying to bath two babies safely when there is only me, going to the shops in a huge double pram, chasing crawlers, and giving one-on-one attention. I suppose I most feel envious is when I see new babies nursed for long periods and the apparent ease it is to collect one baby, put on a baby sling and get out and about. I would have loved to attend baby and me yoga and swimming classes but alas not this time round.

But once the little envy irritation passes, I would not have it any other way. I only have today to enjoy my double blessings and watching them play. I am happiest most when I hear them chatting away together and the rare occasion of when they make each other laugh. Singleton baby envy no more for this mum.

Moana and Adelaide trip to the beach. 14 months.

Today is my last day in this house as we are moving. I am a little sad as I have packed up the girls bedroom and all our things. However I have quite enjoyed throwing out mountains of rubbish and donating bags of clothes and shoes that I no longer wear. I am ready to start a fresh. However the other night as I was working through my mountains of uni books I started to lament to N, “Oh I used to be important, I used to be smart… See all these books from all the degrees and meticulous plans from years in the workforce. All rubbish.” <insert me feeling a bit sad for myself> until N pulled me up,

“Lisa you are the most important person in the world to those two little girls upstairs.”

Damn right. Right now who really cares about the jobs, extra dollars and degrees. It is time to be a mum. Everything else can wait.

Tomorrow the removalist comes and from now we are living by the beach where I can spend more time being a mum and no more silly talk over rubbish.

You are the most important to me

As soon as the girls started sleeping through, I started to enjoy a glass of wine or two in the evening. A year had passed since I had last touched alcohol at the weekend hens celebration. I remember the memorable hangover the day before the Monday morning pregnancy test.

I did not miss the year without alcohol during the pregnancy and breastfeeding. But when the girls slept through and our “shifts were over,” the relaxing and seductive glass was a welcome treat. Until recently my answer to the question,” Do they sleep through?” was just a little light heart joke shared between other parents.

I usually said something along the lines of “Babies fed at 5:30pm, in cots asleep by 6:00pm. The bottle of wine is opened at 6:15pm.”

Wine Time

A mutual laugh is the usual response as the conversation steers between the reflection of an exhausting day juggling children and work and then the welcome end of another shift for another day.

I don’t think I drink too much (much more to do with cost and calories) but when I am tempted to buy a bottle at the end of a week, I confess it is thoroughly enjoyed. However while outlining this post I did a little Google research on Why Mums drink and all of a sudden I don’t see much of a difference between me and other mums who drink alcohol to help manage stress of motherhood.

Then I found Rachael Brownell and her book Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore: Getting Through the

First Year of Sobriety. It almost became a quick flash of how quick it can happen.

Like a lot of people I began drinking in my late teens, and throughout my 20s I would usually just drink on weekends. Once I had my twins in my early 30s, I was a like a lot of people with new kids -- I was a little more cut off, I was home more of the time, and I started to drink a little bit more then, and it became kind of a highlight of my day. So I’d spend time with them, and after they were in bed I would read and drink some wine.

And it wasn’t anything problematic for a while. I started by using drinks in the way that a lot of people use them -- "Oh, it’s been a stressful day, I’ll just relax and I’ll enjoy some adult time and unwind." Pretty soon it became, "When can I drink?" And I would drink earlier and earlier in the day, and it snuck into being my favorite part of every day.

I now find comments about “better parenting through alcohol” no longer funny. Wine Time is fine but I am now much more aware than before I had children.

Since the post Stay at home dads our lives have changed again. Mere male (as per the reference to New Idea MM stories) and my new name for N, our lives have turned upside down again.

Three weeks ago MM’s Boss called and said, “There is no more work, you can go home.”

No questions asked, and dejected MM interpreted it as, “There is no more work, I lost my job.”

As we made new plans, pulled the girls out of childcare, and applied for a cheaper rental property around my work, the Real Estate agent contacted our employers (we had submitted our current payslips).

MM’s Boss called, “Where have you been these past weeks?”

MM, “You fired me”

MM Boss, “No I didn’t. I just said there was no work and to go home”

<Insert another hour of man talk>

MM entered the house with a spring in his step. “I have a promotion, three staff and a company car and I am back to work full time Monday to Friday”

Grrrrl….

So I have been frantically trying to re enrol the girls back into childcare and cancell the move.

Men and communication.

Moana and Daddy. My new favourite pic of the man of the house.

I love reading twin birth stories and every birth story is personal to the author and over the last few months as I have entered the mummy blogging world I have read the warm, delightful, inspirational and a few sad ones. So for part two to my “Surprise dear, I am having Twins” post I thought I better continue with the story.

At 36+1 weeks (so precise I know) N and I rocked up to the obstetrician’s office for a check up. The appointments were now weekly and I had finished work four weeks prior. We sat across the Dr’s desk and I started to beg to be induced. I was huge, swollen and didn’t think I could last any longer.  That morning we had seen little baby B’s foot very clearly kick through my tummy but no signs of labour was evident. For weeks I was resigned to sleeping in the double bed in the spare room or the couch but nothing was comfortable anymore and the frequent trips to the bathroom had made any sleep impossible. The weather was hot and I was waddling in the blow-up pool on the deck which was straining under the weight of the water, me and two unborn twins.

The Dr soon gave us a good talking to and we were duly chastised for requesting to be induced early as the priority was to reduce any time in special care. Even though the girls were a good size; we just had to wait. Then she took my blood pressure and the story changed, “We’ll admit you into the maternity ward tonight for observation.” So off we toddled to the hospital in the building next door.

“I don’t have my bag, its at home.” As I settled into my hospital bed and the midwife hooked me up to the monitors N disappeared home to collect my bag. It was peak hour traffic at 5pm when he returned. They took my blood pressure but it continued to climb. “Looks like these babies will be arriving tonight”.

“Where is the camera?” It was still at home. Off N went to return home for the camera. By then the midwives decided to move me into the labour ward. Apparently labour had started but I had no recollection. People were coming in and out of the room and I was oblivious to it all. “Too dangerous its pre-e and we need to have a c section.” It was disappointing but acceptable. All the money wasted on baby yoga. “Where is your partner?” he still had not returned. They inserted a cannula and there was blood all over the floor as it was difficult to find a vein. My mobile rang and it was my sister leaving a message saying “G’day how are things?” right when the nurse decided I needed a shave. Not good timing. It was all happening so fast we did not have a chance to relay back to the extended family that the girls were to be born shortly. A tall Asian man came in and started asking me questions and in my delirium I thought he was the janitor. I called N, “Where are you?” He was in the car park. The staff threw him his greens to wear in surgery and he came rushing in with camera in hand. The epidural was painful, swelling made it difficult. They took blood from my neck. The large bright lights and two Drs peering down and “are you ready?” click went the camera and baby A was born. Two minutes later followed by her little sister’s screams. Twin A and Twin B times were marked on the White board. N holding my hand, “We did it.”

I spent the night in Intensive care to monitor the blood pressure and bleeding. Fluid continued to fill up bags as I started to admire my feet which I had not seen in months. My two legs were periodically pumped for continued circulation and an automatic BP reading went off every fifteen minutes. The night was long and lonely with only the night nurse to talk too as she wandered in and out of my room. She gave me two Polaroid photos of the babies. It seemed forever before I was allowed to move into the general maternity ward to meet my two girls in special care. With the birth done and dusted now the hard bit starts. Parenting.

Hi, I’m Lisa and this is my blog thelastdegree which aims to boldly present to the universe all my intentions for materializing those dreams I have had for the past thirty years. You may have read the cult following book “The Secret” or other books promoting the Law of Attraction and one of the key rules is to ask and you shall receive. So I decided there is no better avenue to ask than through my Blog.

I started this Blog in 2008 to raise awareness for Bipolar Disorder; “Ski with me to the last degree to raise awareness for Bipolar Disorder”. I was a member of an expedition to the South Pole. Over the eighteen months the blog was live I raised $5000 from friends, family and the local community. As a follow up the monies raised by the Bipolar Expedition was given to the Australian Rotary Health for distribution for further research. Unfortunately the expeditions did not go ahead due to the difficulty raising the capital required however the group was very successful in raising awareness in the community for mental health issues.

Over the past twelve month I debated on what to do with the domain name and blog. In April 2009, I attended a manifesting workshop. The goal of the workshop was to attract all the wants in your life by request to the universe. We did this by creating a collage of images or vision board using the Feng Shui Bagua map as a guide to the location. These sections relate to all aspects of live such as fame, relationship, children, helpful people, career, knowledge, health, family and wealth.

A copy of my 2009 map is below. In April last year I was in a new relationship and no children but I did want children so in the Children right hand side I had pasted random pictures of children and pregnancy. What transpired in the next few months was a pregnancy but what makes this picture so special to me was I became pregnant with twin girls. My two little angels in the photo below.

Click here for a larger copy

2010 and I have a new board in development which I plan to release over the duration of this Blog. So once again please come with to the last degree and see if I can make true all my dreams as I learn more about the Law of Attraction.

To contact me, please email lisad at thelastdegree.com