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Posts tagged Parenting tips
Friday is my day
Aug 27th
Mother’s guilt is live and well at my place. I went back to work for three days a week when the girls were only 4 months old. I didn’t think too much of it as they were good babies and I only had them in childcare for one day. Daycare was across from work and I could drop by when ever I wanted. My mum and N were available to cover the other few days. Since then we have needed to readjust childcare as my work increased and N returned to full time work. Today I am finding it difficult. The girls are almost 9 months and we have them in childcare for two days and family daycare for one day. Besides that it is THREE days of paying for two children in childcare the most important thing is I am missing out. Other people have their routines and report on how the girls are going and although I keep telling myself that three days would be the complete limit, it is too much.
Mummy with Moana and Adelaide. 3 Months old.
Friday is my day. Friday is supposed to be my day to be a mum and spend time with my children but I confess lately it is a day filled with cleaning, emailing, laundry and shopping. Compared to daycare days where I hear the girls play, eat and sleep my day seems to be rush, busy and rush. I have read some emails and posts while trying to re-examine my goals and priorities as I think now something has to change – perhaps leave the chores to when they sleep and spend quality time when awake. They are growing up so fast; nine months old in a few days.
My annual leave is starting to dwindle so I need to make the jump officially to part-time and at the moment it is a bit of a psychological barrier – cut my salary 20% to be with the babies. I know it sounds terrible as it should not be barrier but things just are not working the way it is.
How do you juggle childcare with working and how do you spend your days with the kids?
The Birth and already Double Trouble.
Aug 3rd
Every birth story is personal to the author and over the last few months as I have entered the mummy blogging world I have read the warm, delightful, inspirational and a few sad ones. So for part two to my “Surprise dear, its Twins” post I thought I better continue with the story.
At 36+1 weeks (so precise I know) N and I rocked up to the obstetrician’s office for a check up. The appointments were now weekly and I had finished work four weeks prior. We sat across the Dr’s desk and I started to beg to be induced. I was huge, swollen and didn’t think I could last any longer. That morning we had seen little baby B’s foot very clearly kick through my tummy but no signs of labour was evident. For weeks I was resigned to sleeping in the double bed in the spare room or the couch but nothing was comfortable anymore and the frequent trips to the bathroom had made any sleep impossible. The weather was hot and I was waddling in the blow-up pool on the deck which was straining under the weight of the water, me and two unborn twins.
The Dr soon gave us a good talking to and we were duly chastised for requesting to be induced early as the priority was to reduce any time in special care. Even though the girls were a good size; we just had to wait. Then she took my blood pressure and the story changed, “We’ll admit you into the maternity ward tonight for observation.” So off we toddled to the hospital in the building next door.
“I don’t have my bag, its at home.” As I settled into my hospital bed and the midwife hooked me up to the monitors N disappeared home to collect my bag. It was peak hour traffic at 5pm when he returned. They took my blood pressure but it continued to climb. “Looks like these babies will be arriving tonight”.
“Where is the camera?” It was still at home. Off N went to return home for the camera. By then the midwives decided to move me into the labour ward. Apparently labour had started but I had no recollection. People were coming in and out of the room and I was oblivious to it all. “Too dangerous its pre-e and we need to have a c section.” It was disappointing but acceptable. All the money wasted on baby yoga. “Where is your partner?” he still had not returned. They inserted a cannula and there was blood all over the floor as it was difficult to find a vein. My mobile rang and it was my sister leaving a message saying “G’day how are things?” right when the nurse decided I needed a shave. Not good timing. It was all happening so fast we did not have a chance to relay back to the extended family that the girls were to be born shortly. A tall Asian man came in and started asking me questions and in my delirium I thought he was the janitor. I called N, “Where are you?” He was in the car park. The staff threw him his greens to wear in surgery and he came rushing in with camera in hand. The epidural was painful, swelling made it difficult. They took blood from my neck. The large bright lights and two Drs peering down and “are you ready?” click went the camera and baby A was born. Two minutes later followed by her little sister’s screams. Twin A and Twin B times were marked on the White board. N holding my hand, “We did it.”
I spent the night in Intensive care to monitor the blood pressure and bleeding. Fluid continued to fill up bags as I started to admire my feet which I had not seen in months. My two legs were periodically pumped for continued circulation and an automatic BP reading went off every fifteen minutes. The night was long and lonely with only the night nurse to talk too as she wandered in and out of my room. She gave me two Polaroid photos of the babies. It seemed forever before I was allowed to move into the general maternity ward to meet my two girls in special care. With the birth done and dusted now the hard bit starts. Parenting.
Lessons learnt on the Kokoda Track
Jul 25th
I recently posted on Twitter this statement, “The 2007 Lisa hiked the Kokoda track. The 2010 Lisa struggles pushing a double pram uphill. How ironic.” I have been thinking about this statement and its not quite true. The Kokoda track was hard really really hard but what did I learn that I am unconsciously putting into action today? Did the challenge to complete the Kokoda track somehow get me through the physical challenge of a multiple birth, recovery and now the responsibility to parenting twins? Excerpts from my diary are below:
My Kokoda Track Diary
Friday
I heard today that you are supposed to leave something behind on the track; something spiritual, something inside. Like my reason to go on this journey I’m not quite sure I know what it is. I’m here alone. It is a journey and challenge I must make on my own. I want to do it and I can do it. I want to be proud of me. I am so happy and I can’t wait to do more travel and get married and have a family and earn lots of money. Ha! Ha! Lol
Sunday
Not quite sure what to write – been thinking about it for the past few days. I was told the trek was not a pretty trek but they are wrong. It is beautiful. The villages are clean and so well kept. The families take so much pride. I didn’t like Port Moresby. Saturday was a slow start. We spent hours waiting for out charter flight to go to Kokoda but when it happened it was fantastic. The tour group is so well organised. I have a porter called James. Today was our first full day or trekking. It started off quite hard. My backpack was not sitting very well and heavy and my feet were squished. I gave more of weight to James and took the soles out of my shoes. My body aches. We went thought four villages today. John goes through the war history almost at every stop. The group is good. I am getting along with everyone. The tents are great, comfy but 6:15 am leaving campsite is a bit early! I am not all that organised in the dark to pack everything. Fortunately we get to the campsite relatively early today at 3pm. The view is beautiful. I wish I had Milo. I am feeling good though. The muscles in my legs – I am very impressed. I miss N. Miss him lots. Love L
Monday
I miss N. My knee gave way today. I am really trying to perserve but it hurts so much. I have taken anti-inflammatories and pain killers (endone!) and anti-nausea. This track is hard. I think we are at Eora Creek village tonight. It is raining again. I felt so bad because my porter James had to carry my stuff. He is so helpful through the track. Please god make my knee better. Its only two days in. We did ten hours trekking today. We leave at 6:15am and usually get to campsite by 4pm. I’m tired. I have been thinking lots about my life while on the track. Not sure yet what to let go. I wish I had a watch because I wake up at night and don’t know what time it is. I am having chocolate withdrawals. I should have bought Milo and coffee bags. My tummy has been ok. The group has been great. I think it is because you have to be a certain person to decide to go on a trek like this, motivated etc. Everyone has been genuine concerned but I don’t want any attention on myself. Love L
Tuesday
Not the best day today. My wallet and all my money was stolen in the middle of the night and my leg kills. I am feeling depressed.
<Diary ends. One trecker in our group was flown out due to illness. I was told a year later that they had a helicopter on stand-by ready to take me out as well. I think if I had known that at the time I might have given up. Thankfully I made it.>
Monday
Back at home. I am not sure how I am feeling. My brain feels like scrambled eggs. Combined with the intense experience of the Kokoda track, I didn’t quite expect the mental and emotional challenge that came with it.
It was hard, bloody hard. I had been training for about six months for the cardio but the (ITP) iliotibial band decided to play up causing sever pain in my left knee and hip.
I am not quite sure what I am supposed to be doing now. When you focus on something for so long and then it is over it is hard to adjust back to ‘normal’ life. The monotonous sound of the track alone in your thoughts as you concentrate on every step. The words I had playing included trust – trust my boots, trust my walking stick for balance, and trust my porters hand.
My Lessons Learnt
When everything feels overwhelming and too hard just look down at your feet and trust. Trust your feet to take you there.
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